Monthly Archives: June 2017

On… the best sleep ever

I wasn’t going to post about this, and then I was like, but it’s SO GOOD I love it and other people might love it too, but then I was like, but it’s kind of lame, and then I was like, but I’M kind of lame, and then I was like, why am I still debating this with myself, just stfu and write about it already.

The White Noise App That Beats All Other White Noise Apps To A Bloody Screaming Pulp.

There are over 600 different white noise sounds to choose from, and I realize that doesn’t sound THAT exciting. You’re probably thinking ‘big deal, they just pad it out with the hair dryer sound, and some fake airplane noise, and who the fuh likes wind chimes?’

No. No. Trust me. This app has over 600 sounds that someone went out and recorded, FOR REAL, all over the damn world, like Richard Attenborough-style. So you like rain? Try Scottish Heavy Rain, or Rain On The Windshield, Toronto Distant Thunderstorm, Muted Rain On Metal Roof, or English Steady Rain, or DOZENS of others. Or if you like wave sounds – choose between North Sea In Denmark, Pier On New Jersey Shore (STD not included) (sorry), Seaside In Northern Quebec, Cephalonia Island Greece, or my own personal favorite, Crashing Waves In Baja.

You can also listen to more eccentric sounds, like Crickets In South Africa, Inside An Empty Dutch Train, Crowded Pub, Distant Scottish Church Bells, Frogs By A Stream In France, Wind On Atlas Mountain Morocco, Fire In Polish Stove, Sheep Bleating,  Tuscaloosa Alabama Traffic, or – oh I could go on for hours, each sound is more charming and specific than the last. SEE?! THIS APP IS THE BEST. The best, Jerry. The best.

And in case you are wondering, there are wind chimes sounds, too. Twelve different kinds.

 

On… Five Outfits

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A few months ago, my friend Joanna and I were talking about the Five Outfits posts on her brilliant blog. Anyway, she said, “Maybe you could do one…” And I said “But I basically wear the same thing every day. Unless I have a date or a meeting I barely change my knickers. It would be like ‘and today I wore this green sweater again’…” We both suddenly thought that was really funny and decided to do it anyway. So we did. You can see it here.

In case you like friendship origin stories – I do! – I met Joanna at a brunch at Hundred Acres in NYC about five years ago, with our mutual friend from London, Victoria Hannan. I had baby Errol with me (Fox was traveling for work). Errol was at that eight-month-old stage where you put them in a high chair and they try to destroy everything in sight. I remember that JoGo was exceptionally funny and interesting and lovely… and that Errol was exceptionally terrible. No, seriously, he was just yelping and laughing like a maniac and smashing everything in reach. Salt, water glasses, flowers, you name it, he smashed it. (This was when I realized that Errol is a tree frog with surprisingly long arms and exceptional reach). The tables around us were throwing annoyed looks at me, and it was early enough in motherhood that I was easily embarrassed. (These days Ned would have to light someone else’s hair on fire for me to even blink.) But back then I was mortified. It was like having a really drunk friend at a party, you know, I kept saying ‘I’m so sorry, um, he’s not normally like this, hahaha, um, you’d love him, he’s really the best guy…’ And anyway, then Joanna picked Errol up and walked him around the restaurant, chatting and singing to him, so I could scarf my eggs like the animal that I am. And I thought, this woman is the one for me.

Alas, I don’t remember what I was wearing. I have a feeling neon pink socks were involved, I was very into neon pink that spring.