I haven’t posted about covers in a while. Partly because I’ve been working on movie stuff and haven’t had time, but also because I just don’t think about them much anymore. Covers are something that you completely lose your mind about with your first book, and learn to shrug off with approximately two seconds thought by the time you hit no.4. (Ditto publicity. Ditto distribution. Ditto reviews. You can’t control it, so don’t worry about it. Just start your next project. Far more productive. Everything will be fine. And so on.)

I loathed my first cover, it looked like the kind of book I’d be embarrassed to read in public. I only wrote the damn book on a whim so that girls like me and my friends could read something funny about love that wasn’t stupid, and here I was, with an incredibly stupid cover. I kept thinking ‘but… my book is so much cooler than that’. Didn’t matter: that year in the UK, all the light contemporary fiction books written by women had cartoon covers with a dickish girl sporting a red coat and a jaunty leg kick, and so it was for me. (I got a hand in the US cover, which I like very much.)

Anyway, now that I’ve had five books published in the UK and the US, as well as in German, Italian, Spanish, Dutch, Polish, Lithuanian and Slovakian, I just enjoy covers, and everything else book-related, with a sort of benevolent detachment. Once I’ve written the books, I love them, but they’re no longer mine, and I don’t really worry about them again. (I know some people say their books are like their babies, but dude, now that I have babies, I know that’s not true. Books are books. Babies are your heart.)

The US covers of the Brooklyn Girls series are terrific. I was unusually involved in this cover process, thanks to my lovely editor. I suggested we try something that looked a bit like an Instagram picture crossed with a Richard Linklater movie still, so we did, and they’re perfect. (Okay, so the middle one is a leetle streetwalkery, but what are you gonna do.)

The UK covers of the series are also great – reminiscent of posters for a TV series, which I like, and the girls have attitude. (Third cover coming soon).

Dutch covers are cool, like Dutch people. You can tell this girl is a teeny weeny bit stoned, about 6.1″ and will probably have a home birth one day. I am waiting to see the next Dutch covers. If anyone can find them, shoot them my way.

Polish covers are incredibly damn stylish. Especially the first one, with the girl looking out of the cab. She’s adorable.

German covers are a little kooky. Why is she chasing men with a butterfly net? Why is the Indian protagonist suddenly white? Why are there boys in a tree and why is she wearing red rainboots? Why not. Don’t ever change, Germany.

Spanish covers are a little surreal. As though Bridget Jones wandered into a Pedro Almodovar movie.

And… we shall have to wait for Italian, Lithuanian and Slovak covers, as I don’t have them yet. Can’t wait. I hope the Italian cover is all bunga-bunga-esque.

I am tres overdue for a post. Not least because I have some exciting news (COUGH MOVIE DEAL COUGH) and stuff. But I just went to Hong Kong (family reunion) and now I have like 400 deadlines and anyway, Little GemGem is busy. And yup, I just called myself Little GemGem. I have to live with that, now so do you.

So, in the interest of all that is shallow, let me introduce you to an impulse buy that I will never regret, and if you choose to blow $33 on a lipstick, then my loves, blow this. (I know. Leave it.)

Burberry Kisses Lipstick in Nude.

The perfect nude lipstick. Doesn’t give you corpse face, doesn’t sit on your lips like a 60s dollybird wearing Liquid Paper (or White Out or whatever you choose to call it, though if you were born in the 90s you’ll probably call it ‘Huh?’), doesn’t flash baby pink or peach or grey, not too matte or too shiny. It’s just… perfect.

Okay. Gotta run. Back soon. Promise.

If you’re not watching this yet, WATCH IT. It’s so good. I’m officially in love with Ellie Kempner. Though, if we’re being honest, I fell for her a couple of years ago in The Office. She’s one of those actresses that I have in my head when I’m writing funny women. She can pretty much do anything and I will crack up and adore her.

Fun fact: the theme song makes me shimmy in my seat.