Monthly Archives: May 2019

On… sleep

I’m burning the candle at both ends and roasting it in the middle right now, my loves. A baby, two small children, and constant deadlines does not a happy sleeper Gemgem make. (The syntax on that is good, right?)

Particularly because I’m a worrywart.

I lie in bed, my brain hopping through all the things I did that day and all the things I have to do the next day and the cute thing the baby did and what I love about the current outline or script and what I think might need changing and oh that’s a good line I must write that down. All fine, easy thoughts, not even worries, really.

And then out of fucking nowhere I start thinking about scared refugee children in their little foster jails. And refugee babies crying for their mothers (probably right this second, my brain always reminds me). Then I worry about forced birth in the states that hate women (and why does everyone hate women like what the fuck did we do?). And then guns, guns, always guns.

Sometimes I wander over to Brexit, worry about that for a while.

And then to finish off I always worry about whether I will earn any money this year, because I’m in a ridiculous profession (that I absolutely love, of course) and there is no way of knowing. My projects this year are good, I think, and last year I sold everything I pitched and wrote some solid scripts, but nothing was picked up and why is that, is it perhaps because they’re not solid and I’m actually a bit shit, and is wondering if I’m shit the hallmark of someone who is in fact shit or is it a sign that I’m secretly truly balls-out brilliant because the only people who believe they are truly balls-out brilliant are sociopaths?

So. That’s what it’s like to be in my brain at 11pm. It’s like I forget how to sleep.

Sometimes I try a quarter of an Ambien, but it makes my eyes super dry the next day. Melatonin doesn’t work for me either. Valerian stinks. But this is what works:

Natural Vitality Calm Gummies The Anti-Stress Gummies, A Relaxing Magnesium Supplement, Raspberry Lemon, 120 Count

Firstly, magnesium gummies. I was drinking it in the dissolvable powder form on and off for years, but it’s kind of gross. Now I eat the gummies. I don’t know why magnesium helps sleep, but it really does, just sort of unscrews everything that’s bolted on v tightly in your brain. You don’t have to believe me, believe the New York Times. “Magnesium deficiency has been associated with higher levels of stress, anxiety and difficulty relaxing.” Pop two after dinner. Bonus: they’re yummy.

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Second, Lazarus Naturals Relaxation Blend CBD Capsules. You already know about CBD, I don’t have to extol the many virtues here. (Again, the New York Times can tell you more, if you like.) I tried Lord Jones, the one everyone is obsessed with. I liked it fine, no big deal. Then my mother got this magical stuff from our local pharmacy when she was visiting and I HAVE TRULY NEVER SLEPT BETTER. It’s the most delicious easy sleep – it has L-tryphtophan and ashwagandha and chamomile, as well as CBD extract. You wake up feeling calm and clear and rested. I cannot recommend it highly enough. This one is good too. I tried it recently when the Relaxation Blend was out of stock.

PS Come over to Instagram, the water’s lovely.