On… an email that I love

I have an email to share with you.

I got it a few months ago, opened it by mistake, read the whole thing as it made me laugh so much, and every now and again I remember it and think ‘I should so blog about that’.

Yeah, it’s a phishing scam spam thing.

But it’s strange and hilarious and kind of beguiling.

The first few paragraphs are, though lexically tickling for the copywriter, rather predictable. So if you’re in a hurry, skip to the paragraph starting ‘Yes it’s true the world is a global place’.

FedEx UK Head Office
Parkhouse Industrial Estate
East Chesterton
Tel (+44) 7024018994

Attention: Dear Valued Beneficiary,


This is to notify you that your parcel is still in our possession, this parcel contained an International Cashier Bank Draft/Cheque worth the sum of $1,500,000.00(One Million five hundred Thousand USA dollars)only and it is ready for delivery to your door step. Meanwhile, before the delivery or shipment will take place, you are advice to send to us the following data’s

mention below:

1. Your full Name :
2. Residential Address:
3. Private Telephone:

The above requested information’s will enable us deliver your parcel correctly without any mistake or delivering your parcel to a wrong person. Further more, you might be asking yourself how comes this email, cheque or draft, Anyway, your cheque was brought to this office by a Lottery Fiduciary Agent Or Claim Agent, signifying that you are a rightful winner to their Lottery Award selected randomly from 10 lucky email addresses which your email address is one of the lucky email address.

FedEx Courier Service mailing you as per your parcel that was brought to this company to be delivered to you by the lottery groups, along the delivery process that brought a misunderstanding between you and the lottery claim agent and in regards of their request as per their insurance certificate cost, tax fee and lots of other universal corps and drug searches which happened to be the course of your parcel being pending for the past months/year.

Meanwhile we are hereby happy to inform you that the FedEx Company has finalized and resolved the whole issued with the legal offices like the International Monetary of Funds(IMF),and the Internal Revenue Service(IRS) offices, the company organization has also listed 24 valuable parcel’s to be intact in their office after the released of the parcel’s from universal corps and drug searches.

We are happy to inform you once again that your parcel that contains the sum of $1,500,000.00 is among the 24 parcel’s listed which is now in our office and also with your name as the receivers despise, that we lost your private residential address’s, which is an indication that you can now re-send your residential address, telephone as stated above back to the FedEx Company where your parcel can be delivered to you without hesitation.

Meanwhile remember that the sender of this parcel to you that’s the fiduciary agent still owes this company the sum of $121 usd before the incident occurs, Note that this fee is not just for delivery but with the immigration and customs stamp duty, this company has spend out of their incomes in the process by the recovering back your parcel? so dear customer we once again appreciate your patronage in our favour.

Without hesitations you are to pay for just the balance left by your sender since we have lost his contact. this payment have to be made via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram with the below payment information so that your parcel can be delivered to your residential address before it accumulate a demurrage after one week, only,as you know your parcel is not just an ordinary parcel but with a huge amount and I think you understand what I mean by accumulating a demurrage?

Which you will not allow that to happen to your recovered parcel that almost gone if not for the love that God have for you by favoring you with his favor by now there could have been no hope at all.We assure you that your parcel will arrive at your home country in two days time and it will get to your door step the third day as soon as this company receive the balance payment of $121 usd the tracking number of your parcel will be sent to you via e-mail immediately so that you can track it yourself to see your parcel on the way and you will also know when it will arrive at your home country because we operate in trust and loyalty in your favor. And also the FedEx Courier Service hereby inform all their customers through this media by heradicating all their communication with the scam mails that are going all-over the world be careful with their e-mails so that your parcel will not be in danger with their evil planes.

FedEx provides access to a growing global market place through a network of supply chain, transportation, business and related information services.

Yes it’s true that the world is a global place that people would easily go and scam people most especially on the net because the internet is the easiest way to reach to people and making them believe that the transaction they are offering is real. Therefore i must say that you deemed it fit and did right for explaining all to me in details so that you won’t misunderstood the whole issue.

I need you to know that i’m a man of dignity and keeps to my word. It’s therefore an insult on my face and on me as a person for you to have thought that i belong to those imposters, though i saw your reasons.By the virture of a man’s word, you could tell who is geniue and not.Though have been involved in such like this does not mean that when you see a legit one you can’t tell it’s really. God our creator has different ways of restoring all our wasted years and this is the restoration that the lord has ordained for you.

Furthermore, i would want you to know that there is scam in the globe and i would advice you to be careful with the kind of emails you reply to so that you won’t be a victim of circumstance anymore . it’s my duty to protect your interest and also advice you on legal matters on how to go about it. I promise you will be revived and regain all that you’ve ever dreamt of at the end.You must also know that you will be surprised that the delivery will be made to you as soon as you make the payment and at that point and level of success, you will live to remain greatful to me, I want you to have your mind rest and make a delivery choice and your consignment will get to you safely with any more problem.

PAYMENT INFORMATION FOR THE IMMIGRATION AND CUSTOMS STAMP DUTY CHARGES BEFORE DELIVERY EFFECT, FIND BELOW the information for Western Union or Money Gram to enable you make the payment of $121 usd before the delivery commence:

Receivers Name: Diakunu Standwell
Receivers Address: Accra Ghana
Senders Name: ————
senders Address:————
Text Question: In God?
Answer: We Trust
MTCN or REF Number:————–

Amount to be sent: $121 US Dollar

Please you have to send the full payment information including the MTCN Number to enable us fully proceed on your delivery FedEx is one of the world’s greatest successful story, the start-up that revolutionized the delivery of packages and information. In the past 30 years, we’ve grown up and grown into a diverse family of companies as FedEx that’s bigger, stronger, better than ever.

Mr.Steven Billias
email: stevbillias0@secretarias.com

Agent Jan Ward

Don’t you find the ranting-yet-patient tone of voice so charming? “I think you understand what I mean by a demurrage?”

From now on when I’m pissed off, I’m going to say “that is an insult to my face and me as a person”.

I almost hope the dude got some money. I feel like he earned it.

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2 thoughts on “On… an email that I love

  1. Anonymous

    You will actually have to say (when pissed of) "that is an insult on my face" which is somehow infinitely more vivid and disturbing.


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