I loved HOT TUB TIME MACHINE. (Except for all the damn boobs. COME ON. I am so over seeing boobs for no reason. Show me some damn scrotum.) (Kidding. Please do not show me any scrotum. No one wants to see that shit, they really only exist as portable stress toys for the owner to jiggle. If anything, show me a penis.) (But only a nice one.) (No, you know what, I don’t want to see a penis either. Let’s pretend this conversation never happened.)

ANYWAY. This trailer for HOT TUB TIME MACHINE 2  made me laugh like a fucking maniac.

Can’t wait.

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On… Life Partners

Well THIS looks interesting. A female-friendship comedy. You know how much that fries my burger by now.

This from IndieWire:

“In an interview with Women And Hollywood, Fogel expressed a fascination with female friendships. “They seem defined by a combination of codependent intimacy and subtle, constant passive-aggressiveness,” she said. “And more generally, as a director I was excited about telling a story where the women are layered protagonists: witty without being glib, emotional without being overly vulnerable, or letting a dude define their self-worth. On a related note, the idea of normalizing a best friendship between a lesbian and a straight girl without overly politicizing their sexualities felt exciting and true to the zeitgeist now.”



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On… a new lipstick

Every year it gets to this time and I think yay, can’t wait to wear boots and jeans and jackets every day. I lived in London for 11 years and became conditioned to be happiest when it’s grey and chilly. (But not snowing. This New York snow thing is seriously sartorially challenging.)

And I also think, yay, red lipstick.

Two years ago I was all about Lady Danger by MAC. It’s a perfect, Diane-Kruger-in-Inglourious-Basterds red, bright and matte and beautiful.


Last year I wanted a dark red, and discovered Bloodroses by Kevyn Aucoin. I think I even posted about it. I thought it was amazing. Rich, bloody, dramatic.


But then a few weeks ago, I tried on Bloodroses and, like seeing an old boyfriend, thought: how the fuck did I ever think that was good for me?

I wanted a lipstick that was red-BLACK, emphasis on the black, with – and this is important – no purple or berry in it. Something that I could wear without lipliner, without any other make up and still look like I’d made an effort, and something that really lasted and wasn’t too matte, shiny, slippery, or drying. And dark, dark, dark.

So last week I went to Bloomingdales and Sephora and swatched every single dark red they had. (If I’d been truly dedicated to the cause I would have gone to Saks and Barneys but only had an hour and didn’t want to venture beyond Soho. Also I am quite lazy.)

Anyway, I found it.


Bramble by Bite.

Knock yourselves out, ladies. (Sorry gents. Next post will be unisex. Pinkie swear.)


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On…. a Sunday morning song

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OUTLANDER by Diana Galbadon.

Obsessed doesn’t even begin to cover it.

I’m not a historical romance kind of person. In fact, I rarely read romance at all, as most of it makes me cringe. But this book has TAKEN OVER MY LIFE. Every day when I’m writing or with the babies or whatever, all I think is: I’d rather be reading Outlander. It’s so good. And it’s even funny, ish. I didn’t think historical romances could ever be funny. I was wrong. It gets a little weird and nasty in places – no, really, it does – but it’s still worth reading for, uh, the sex. My friend Sarah calls it Fifty Shade Of Plaid. (She is much funnier than I am. Yah it’s really annoying.)

It’s a TV series on Starz now. I haven’t watched it yet. But I will.


Oh. Yes. I. Will.

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On… St. Vincent

Can’t wait to see this movie.

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On… shopping

I feel like – wait, why the fuck am I saying ‘feel’ when I mean ‘think’? I know I mean ‘think’. I never used to say ‘feel’ instead of ‘think’, it’s such a strange and new thing to do, and so particularly female, as though we can only let ourselves emote opinions instead of actually using our brains to KNOW them. It’s somehow intellectually self-denigrating. And it’s just plain wrong. You feel feelings. You think thoughts. Fucks sake Gemma.

Let’s start again.

I think I’m seriously overdue for a blog post. I could write about books and I could write about writing and I could write about me, but that’s BORING. (Urgh, books, am I right?) I’m in the mood to talk about something a little lighter. I’m finally properly my shape again after months of agony. I get nice and cuddly in pregnancy… oh, okay, I just get really fat. And I’m not one of those women who wakes up and pulls on her 26-inch-jeans the day after the birth. A disproportionate number of my friends are like that and they are VERY LUCKY that I still even talk to them. Sorry, where was I? Yes. Walking, dieting, sprinting, various silly classes like this, personal training here, pilates here and hardcore workout-till-you-throw-up interval training here: you name it, I’ve been doing it. And of course, now that I can fit back into my old clothes, I don’t want them anymore.

I want new clothes.


Am totally obsessed with these high riser skinny skinny jeans from Madewell. Truly they are the most flattering pair of jeans I’ve ever owned (until I find a more flattering pair – that goes without saying, right?).


I crave a big fluffy cream jumper this year. This one is a bit out of budget but we’ll see if Topshop comes up with a good copy, I mean, interpretation.


Helmut Lang Inclusion Coat. Insanely expensive. But so beautiful. But so expensive. But so beautiful. And so on, and so on.


These are the perfect Chelsea boots from Dune London. Trust me, I have looked EVERYWHERE. These have just the right heel, the right toe, the right sole, the right everything. And Dune London just opened in NYC! Yay! On Broadway in Soho.


I met a girl on holiday last week and she was wearing this dress from Zara. She looked ridiculously amazing.


And lastly, this Revlon matte lip color thingie in Striking has no business, no business at all, being as good as it is.


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