On… miscarriages

Well, I wrote something about the three miscarriages I had in 2017. It’s here if you would like to read it. 

It was a hard year. I’m so grateful and fortunate that a year later, I had Arthur.

And I wasn’t sure whether to ever talk about it. I’m hardly the confessional self-analyzing type. There are so many more interesting and important things in the world to talk and think about than me. But after I had Arthur, I remembered how when I was going through that hard year, I searched high and low for uplifting and understanding articles about multiple miscarriages. And I couldn’t find any (apart from this lovely one). Just horror story after horror story. And awful statistics. I was paralyzed with sadness, and I wanted someone to say to me: I know you are sad, my darling, but I’ve been there, and I survived, and so will you.

So, since I couldn’t find the essay I wanted at the time, I wrote my own.

Qo54Tyqk

Here is a very flattering photo that they took of me for the piece.

Incidentally, I used to look for similar uplifting empathy in literature when I was heartbroken, in my 20s – oh so many heartbreaks! – and when I couldn’t find any modern, genuinely funny stories about real girls who fucked and drank and partied and loved their jobs and made mistakes with men, I wrote my own, and that was how I became an author, despite never really wanting to be an author. Now I write screenplays, and I tend to write things that I want to read or watch, and can’t find. But enough about me! How are you?

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3 thoughts on “On… miscarriages

  1. Martine Demers

    Hi, I read your article about your miscarriages. I never experienced one. But when I read that at one point you called your husband and your heard it in his voice that he is panicking!!! I kind of laughed (not at you really) but at the situation. It is just that if I have the feeling that my husband is panicking over me, that means that I am really down! Maybe my thoughts are not expressed well…This week I was really sick, and I was puking my life out. And my 9 year-old son was crying in the stairs, he was just panicking because he never saw me as unwell. I was just too much in the toilet to comfort him you see… I am a mom and mom don’t get sick! Wifes are in control everyday of pretty much everything. So the comment about your husband brought back a memory of a look of pure fear that I saw once on my husband’s face (he thought I was going crazy, he did not know what to do) and I remeber clearly thinking : Oh my god girl, the ship is sinking, pick up your shit come on!!!!!

    Reply
  2. Myfanwy

    I was so sorry to read about your terrible year of miscarriages. I used to check your blog to see how you were doing. Congratulations on the birth of Arthur. I’m glad you had your happy ending and I hope it helped. We lost two babies very late in the pregnancies and it was devastating. I remember looking for happy ending stories of people who had gone through something similar and then I had to stop because for a long time it felt like we would never have a good outcome to any pregnancy. And then all of a sudden we were very lucky and we got 2 miracle babies. I still think of writing about it, because no-one’s story is exactly like yours, and there is something in the whole dark experience that I feel still needs some sort of expression.
    I love your blog and reading about your writing. You write wonderfully and you make me laugh. And now I’m thinking of buying a pair of sequin Converse!

    Reply

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