On… the other thing

Okay, so I have been thinking about writing this forever so I’m just going to close my eyes and hold my nose and jump into the water: yes, I had three miscarriages last year. The first one was, in fact, today last year. The next one was in early May. And the last one was at the very end of September.

I didn’t talk about it here or anywhere else, I just threw myself into writing and my tiny sons and happy things like movies and TV shows and books and music. (And beauty products, natch.) I didn’t want to focus on sadness, or burden other people with it. I would always – pathetically – much rather laugh and feel good and make other people laugh and feel good, too. I even remember trying to comfort near-strangers at my own father’s funeral. (“Oh, it’s okay, thank you, it’s fine!” etc. Who does that? I mean, seriously.) And having a job where I have to make up shit for a living – where I have to think like another person in another life – is the best for avoiding bad feelings. Who’s sad? Not me! I’m pretending to not be me. All good here.

Anyway. Then my friend asked me if I’d write something for her post about what 2017 taught people, and we deliberated a bit because I’m boringly private and tend to keep social media stuff to personality not personal… and then I thought, well, fuck it. This has sucked, if someone else is going through something similar, I want her to know she’s not alone. So, person out there who is having a hard time: you are not alone.

I’m glad I did. I’ve received so many emails from lovely women offering support and empathy. Thank you, lovely women.

2018 will be better.

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6 thoughts on “On… the other thing

  1. Amanda

    I’ve loved your blog and thoughts and writing since your Cup of Jo Beauty Uniform. You are a thrill. Thank you for sharing this. Pain is so private, but I must be have come across this at the right time. My family and I are going through some heavy sh*t at the moment and although it’s not quite the same as what you’ve been dealing with, it’s oddly comforting to read your words on loss and feel a sense of ‘Ah, yeah. Eventually things will be OK.’ It’s a small bit of relief and reassurance so truly thank you for posting. Sending you hugs and good vibes. You are braver than you know and I’m so sorry you’ve had to weather that heartbreak on three occasions.


    1. GemmaBurgess Post author

      Dear Amanda, thank you so much, and I’m so sorry for everything you’re going through right now, too. I agree that it is good to know – and true! – that one day everything will be okay. You just have to white-knuckle your way through the storm and come out the other side into sunnier weather… I hope that you’re giving yourself lots of time to sleep and – if possible – laugh. And try to cuddle a small child or a dog every day. xxx


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