On… five things from Topshop 4 Replies I wear a LOT of Topshop. It is borderline ridiculous. And my NYC friends are always like ‘I can never find anything in there! It’s all crappy teen stuff!’ I am here to tell you: No, darlings. You must simply train your eyes to see BEYOND the crappy teen stuff. You know how when you look at one of those weird 3-D pictures in the 90s, you could go cross-eyed and see a sailboat? (“It’s a SCHOONER!” Any Mallrats fans here? No one? Seriously? Okay, okay, move on.) It’s like that. So train yourself to ignore terrible things like this and this and this and this, for the love of God (by the way, Topshop has started seeding false positive reviews for their more egregious fashion errors, it’s very annoying and obvious) and instead, see these: Flippy skirt. This is my favorite skirt of the summer. I’ve been wearing it nonstop with a Ramones t-shirt. Black and white swimsuit. I am not sure how supportive it would be if I had big bosoms and was playing beach volleyball, but honestly, neither of those scenarios will ever come to pass. Origami dress. I have this dress in three colors and two lengths already, but I want this one, too. It’s perfect: mid-length but not frumpy, hides the upper arms (mine are unusually short, no seriously, I’m like a T-rex), and is magically slimming. I strongly regret not getting it in red 12 months ago, when I had the chance. Woe is me. Check bag. I am fighting with myself about getting this. I don’t need it, it’s just more junk in our small apartment, but… I WANT it so. It reminds me of Hong Kong. Yellow fluffy slides. I don’t need to explain why these are amazing, right? I have a similar pink pair already. But this is SUCH a good yellow. My Topshop tips: 1) Good things tend to sell out fast… but then they reappear as if by magic on the Nordstrom website a week or so later. So just keep checking. Keep checking Topshop too: a lot of things get returned. 2) Their shoes with heels between one inch and three inches are great. Everything else is terrible. 3) Trust Topshop for dresses, blouses and skirts. For jackets, mannish shirts and trousers, Zara. Jeans… eh. I’m not sure. Maybe? 4) You can and should always return or alter anything you want to. PS NO, Topshop isn’t paying me for this post. Topshop doesn’t even know I am alive. Have you ever even tried to call Topshop customer service? It’s like being in a Monty Python sketch set in an Orwellian universe. That is how little Topshop cares about humans. But I don’t care, because I like their clothes.